Battle of the Bands

AP - A downtown concert promoter says he will be lucky if all he gets is fired tonight after police and riot squad officers were deployed to break up the violence that erupted at his music venue. “It seemed like it was a great idea,” says the promoter, Jimmy. “A battle of the bands where all the bands play the same song so that it’s more fair and easier for the audience to judge who’s the best band!” The lights from different emergency vehicles paint contrasting strobes in the cool night air. An ambulance carries away a young man who tried to kill himself by plummeting from the balcony. Police in riot gear load handcuffed assailants into vans while other cuffed music-fan-turned-rioters sit on the pavement in a line against the outside brick wall of the club. Many are bruised and bloodied. Most of the band members have already been taken to the hospital with severe injuries. “It turned into complete chaos and I’m to blame,” says Jimmy. Staring down into nothing with wide lost eyes, he runs his shaking hand through his sweaty hair. “I guess after hearing 5 different bands play ‘Wonderwall' 5 times in a row, something deep down just snaps in people…It was horrible...They were animals…” Jimmy’s words trail off as he stands motionless, frozen in disbelief over the madness he inadvertently unleashed upon the world tonight.
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Jesse Wattenbarger reported from his lonely studio apartment, Atlanta GA. No one else contributed to this fake report.

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